great friends that I don’t deserve. I say this because despite how aggressively I might want to seek and create authentic connections in my life, I’m terrible at actually doing it. That ultimately means I’m terrible at cultivating friendships and giving them the attention they need to survive. It’s most likely a combination of my own self-consciousness, introversion, and laziness – three things that don’t really lend themselves to building healthy friendships. But regardless of my poor social skills, self loathing, and lack of generosity, there are those few people who were still kind enough recently to lend me their ears and offer me much needed and timely advice.

Most – in fact, all – live a great distance from me. Michigan, Hawaii, California, Texas, Australia, Kansas, New York, Massachusetts, Maryland. And because of this, all of our conversations were mediated through phone, email, Skype, Facebook, or Twitter. But even their mediated ears, voices, and thoughts were enough to keep me afloat. Admittedly, having friends spread across different time zones spoiled me because, as I struggled with the unfolding of a pretty painful event, I knew I could reach out whenever I needed and someone would be there to reach back. So, though I selfishly wish you all lived close to me, I’m glad your lives took you to where you are today.

And thank goddess for these media. I can’t imagine how I would’ve fared without them. Maybe I’d be stronger, dealing with everything myself, but thinking about bottling up all those emotions leaves me wondering if that actually would’ve been the case. By extending myself through them I was able to undergo some much needed decompression and also augment ties with friends who I haven’t physically seen in a long time and may not see for even longer. But somehow that doesn’t seem to matter, because I have this strange feeling that we never left. I mean, I’m sure you all have had a tough goodbye since the advent of the mobile phone. How bizarre is it to say ‘goodbye’ (and I mean really say ‘goodbye’) only to get a call from that person an hour or two later while they are on the road or when their plane has landed?  Or to know that you can call them at anytime from anywhere, or perhaps see them in real-time on Skype?  We’ve extended ourselves to the point of making ‘goodbyes’ fundamentally different.  And it screws with me.

It’s almost to the point where I don’t say ‘goodbye’ any more.  Have I really left when you can read my thoughts on my blog, see through my eyes on Flickr, hear through my ears on Last.fm, view my Facebook profile, stay ambiently (I don’t think this is a word) aware of my activity on Twitter, hear my voice on the phone, and so forth?  All of this makes up who I am, to a deeper extent than you would perhaps ever know if you met me in person.  So it’s as if being disconnected geographically and physically we become more connected intellectually.  Far out.

This quasi-stream of consciousness is just a long-winded way of saying to my friends:  you all rock.  I’m better because of you and I’m happier than I will probably ever be capable of showing you that we are still connected.  Cheers to you.