so much time – I realize this now. But it took reading a recent article in The Chronicle for it to really dawn on me. In it, the author discusses the shortcomings of a humanities education, namely that it trains students to criticize exceptionally well but not much else.
“In a humanities culture in which being smart often means being a critical unmasker, our students may become too good at showing how things don’t make sense. That very skill may diminish their capacity to find or create meaning and direction in the books they read and the world in which they live.”
It’s a behavior that’s entirely negative and, the author argues, counterproductive. I think I have to agree, at least partially. And I’m totally guilty of it.
Back in college, I used to drive a red Ford Ranger with a big black sticker stuck to the rear window that screamed at everyone behind me to “QUESTION AUTHORITY.” At the time, I thought it was so freaking cool. It represented something about me that I could broadcast to the world: that I was “counter,” that I didn’t fall for bullshit, and that I was supremely and utterly awesome. All of these, of course, were highly suspect and only a pathetic display of the misplaced confidence of a young college student with just enough education to think he was dangerous. Ph33r me.
Now, questioning is valuable. In fact, I think it’s one of the most valuable pastimes a human being can partake in. But perhaps I can suggest (at least) two forms of questioning: positive and negative. During college, I practiced the latter. Everything was suspect, everything was to be deconstructed, everything was something trying to sneak past me. My life was full of duplicities and impurities. And though I sometimes enjoyed pushing my mind in this direction, I don’t think it did me much good. I think it actually hampered my ability to do what my chosen field of study is best known for — taking the perspective of another.
I’ve been told, on multiple occasions, that I’m a negative person. That I can complain too much, and that I’m never satisfied. Guilty, guilty, and guilty. Whether these things are rooted in the foundations of my personality, laid down during my childhood, or the result of, as the author puts it, a “humanities culture,” I’m not entirely sure. I’d like to think it’s a conditioned behavior that I can overcome, because, to be honest, I’m exhausted from trying to find fault with everything in my world. I do know that when I was younger, I would often reset video games if my progression wasn’t going as expected — if I lost too many lives, didn’t collect all the shiny necessities, or if I could’ve gained more experience points doing something differently, something better. Don’t know what that means. But if you want to interpret, be my guest. Maybe there’s a kernel of “aha” goodness in there somewhere.
This isn’t to say my life is devoid of the good stuff. I’ve found happiness in the simplest of ventures — that of stretching the self by exploring the beauty held in art, history, anthropology and other equally illuminating “subjects” concerned with human nature. Now my mission is to question these things “positively”. And by that I mean more of a “putting together” than a “taking apart,” finding connections between things, uncovering hidden logic, and not being so damn quick to think everything and everyone is trying to take advantage of me.
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7 Comments
Hey man…I TOTALLY resonate with what you’re saying. I finally came to this breaking point at the end of this last year that I have to change my mindset. I was emotionally exhausted b/c so many of my thoughts in a given day focused on the negative. I’ve become an expert at worrying, thinking sarcastic thoughts that do me no good, and went as far to not be positive b/c I didn’t want to prove correct those people who say “if you just think more positively, things in your life will be better”.
Well, as I’ve learned, I was totally exhausted and their logic really holds true. I’ve been working on taking control of my own thoughts instead of letting them run rampant. My parents bought me the book “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” and just a few pages in made me realize I couldn’t live like I was living anymore. Anyway…I really identify with what you’re saying…maybe not precisely, but I do get it. We didn’t know each other that well in college, but I know you have a great head on your shoulders and have a good heart. It’s awesome when we have those aha moments or when we can step back, look at ourselves, and be honest with who we are and who we want to become. But don’t regret…just move forward. Take care!
this is why i feel i’ve wasted time with humanities/liberal arts.
i see truth in this comic.
http://xkcd.com/451/
In some ways I agree with your almost anti-question everything stance. But I think that you’re implying a kind of postive/negative question everything… question everything= negate everything. But this isn’t REALLY the question everything humanities SHOULD be teaching (although in many cases it is). It’s about questioning things to create something new and positive in its place. It’s about taking old solutions, questioning their shortfalls, acknowledging their accomplishments, and re-imagining in a way that benefits society. The people who ARE being hired with higher degrees in the humanities realize this- they’re people like you who apply the ‘question-everything’ to understand the way some social phenomenon metaphorically represent others, and use that to provide impetus for social change. Questioning everything is like playing baseball… sure you can hit the ball with half a swing, but the good stuff comes when you follow through.
Ha. Thematic parallels among all our work as of late eh? I would be quick to counter the ‘time wasted’ hypothesis. I think it’s a formative part of development to go through, as long as we can then get to a point where positive modes of analysis are the only ones we value. Bryce was getting at the importance of this mode of examination. Our Humanities education teaches us how to think, albeit at times a bit too critically. We are trained from day one of college to create an argument, and the whole verbage of the situation — criticism, argument, conclusion — make a subconscious play towards negativity. Currently, for me, I’m wondering what options Grad school provide that won’t turn me into, or at least won’t let me avoid, the situations of the above xkcd comic. I know they’re out there, and I know a lot of it is a personal perspective kind of thing, and it’s something I hope to solve over the next year or so. The following link has helped me out a lot, putting my education into a perspective. Because that is what most of this is all about, choosing a perspective with which to tackle the world. Unfortunately, it takes a lot of work to don the positive one.
Care of DFW (now deceased, by his own hand. I only share that so you don’t let it debunk the solid thoughts herein):
http://goaheadsueme.blogspot.com/2005/05/david-foster-wallace-at-kenyon-college.html
I think we all go through these moments (those of us with a humanties education, at least, though I would venture to say that other “normal” people do, too, whatever “normal” might mean), thinking we’ve utterly wasted our lives with the way we’ve learned to think about the world. As Sean has said, I believe it’s really just a phase (one I’m going through, right now, myself) but an important one, and one we can learn just as much from as we can from the more positive and productive ways of thinking that come about when we find our way out of that negative, gloomy fog we swim through, for awhile. As I’m considering graduate school (as well as considering taking a year off in between, now), I’ve also often found myself worrying that it won’t matter if I go or if I don’t – because all that I know about what’s wrong with the world isn’t really helping me to change it. But I think that very moving speech you linked us to, Sean, says a lot about how I’ve felt…how I’m sure most of us have felt. I’ve been through times in my life when I was the person worshipping beauty and dying a million deaths because I thought myself ugly…and what I felt was even more important, the worship of intellect, made me want to shrivel, because in my urge to surround myself with brilliant people, I realized how little I knew, and it frightened me that others might figure it out.
Adam, for as long as I have known you, though our association was very loose and occasional in all our years at the same school, I’ve always admired your intelligence, your passion, and your drive to make the world a better place. Maybe you have gone through a period of negativity, but I’m pretty confident you’ll find your way out of it, and that you’ll do something wonderful with all that you’ve learned, and how you’ve learned to think about it.
And thank you, Sean, for the link to that transcription of that very beautiful speech.
@josh – considering your recent accomplishments with ChatterBuild and your pending move to Chicago, I’d say you’ve definitely taken charge of your own thoughts. You’re an inspiration. Seriously.
@natalie – reminds me of the many talks we’ve had about why we do what we do and what it all means. I miss those chats, but glad the interwebz keep us connected!
@bryce – you’re totally right about the follow-through. I think I was content with just being critical for the sake of being critical. I’d take the pieces apart to show how they didn’t really fit, but I didn’t have the dedication to try to find a better way to put them back together. So I agree with you… it’s a dialectic between the negative and positive. Here’s to hoping I (and we all) can follow through to the synthesis.
@sean – I can’t help but wonder how I’d be today if I’d been more positive the entire time. And you’re definitely correct — it’s formative… and cumulative. Without the negative there can be no positive. Hell, maybe if I was positive before I’d be negative now. I sure as hell wouldn’t want that. Thanks for reminding me. And thanks for that beautiful DFW speech. I was only a peripheral fan in college but have started to peruse his work more recently. Love this: “The really important kind of freedom involves attention and awareness and discipline, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them over and over in myriad petty, unsexy ways every day. That is real freedom. That is being educated, and understanding how to think. The alternative is unconsciousness, the default setting, the rat race, the constant gnawing sense of having had, and lost, some infinite thing.”
@jessica – thank you so much for your encouragement. I share in your feelings regarding surrounding yourself with brilliant people. I miss the cohort back at KSU. Some of the best people I’ve ever had the privilege of meeting. It’s comforting to know I’m not the only person trying to get out of this negative funk!
Thank you all for sharing your thoughts. Had no idea I shared this experience with so many in my immediate social network.
indeed, my friend. the delicate balance of the humanities perspective. sifting through realities, dissecting life, and trying to not only see the negative but also the positive. the triumphs of human resilience, compassion and ingenuity. i understand the feeling as though nothing is never enough, i’m fighting that now. cheers my friend.